End of the Year Party!

I just realized I never shared Gavin's special end-of-the-year party pics!  We had a beautiful day to spend at a local park and splash park and of course, I was so excited that Riley and I were able to attend.  She even lasted almost the whole time!

 

There was a toss game set up for them to play.  I just loved seeing the competitive side of Gavin come out just a little bit with his friends.  Mrs. R even commented on it.  The look on his face when they won was priceless. 

 

Still so little...

Being silly with the hula hoops!

We had a picnic lunch before walking over to the splash park.  The kids all had pizza, which they just loved!

Gavin around his school friends certainly is another Gavin!  I wasn't sure how the splash park would go because he's never been a huge fan in the past, but he LOVED it and had so much fun.  Turning 6 sure has brought about a new personality for this kid, and I love how brave he's being now!

We even got a surprise visit from Daddy!

Honestly, we couldn't have asked for a better day.  All of the teachers and parents did a great job making it a memorable event for these special kindergarteners.  We've enjoyed our year so much and I can't wait for more memories next year!

Kindergarten Celebration

Kindergarten Celebration!!  Wow!  This year flew by.  I feel like I just found myself on the couch late at night, crying because my baby was growing up and I'd see him less through the week than his teacher did....and now I find myself up at night, crying because this year flew by and he's already SIX and, according to him, practically a first grader.  Seriously, time....SLOW DOWN!  I'm not enjoying your speed at the moment.

His program was so sweet.  I was shocked that he never talked about being nervous beforehand.  This is the kid that cried when his class had to lead the Rise and Shine program back in August and he didn't want to be on stage.  Boy, has he come a long way!  Was he overly photogenic?  No.  Will he be our drama club member?  Ha!  But he did great and we were so proud to see him up on stage.

Of  course, thanks to his awesome size, we had a great view of him.  Front row, baby!  And, he got to sit right next to his best bud, Gunner.

The program started with a slideshow, that {of course!} brought me to tears.  So many sweet memories during his kindergarten year! They sang a few songs, and in between songs, each class was introduced one by one and the kids got to do a little wave.

It was nothing elaborate - no cap and gowns, no handshaking...it was a simple celebration of all the hard work they put into their full year in elementary school!  Such a huge accomplishment and they have so much of which to be proud.

 

We had a great year with Mrs. R!  I love how she said she 'had Gavin pegged' from Day One and knew his personality style.  She worked with him to get him to stand up for himself; he learned some tough lessons this year.  He went from a beginning reader to reading chapter books and testing at a third grade level.  He can do multiplication!  He seriously amazes us...and we couldn't be more proud.

He says his favorite thing about kindergarten was getting away from his crazy sister.  I can only imagine what they're going to do to each other during their six weeks away from school!  Little Sister, though she got bored through the program and took out her braids, is really proud of you, too.  We all love you so much, Gavin Jack. 

#InstagramMonday

#InstagramMonday

Like that #hashtag?  :)  I'm not a big 'hashtagger' but I am in love with Instagram and take lots of photos that way, so I decided to do a 'photo dump' of my Instagram pics every Monday so I have them documented here for my blog books, too.  Here are some from the last few months.

 

The 'ache' is real, my friends!

{Just a heads up....this post is long! It's filled with thoughts that have been on my mind for months now, so forgive my rambling.}

A few months back, I was standing in the play room, using the folding table to sort through clothes for a consignment sale.  Cleaning out the outgrown clothes always pulls at my heartstrings a bit because it means the kids are growing up, but this was different.  I suddenly had a stack of maternity clothes.  And I burst into tears.  Of course, Jarrod looked at me like I'm a crazy person, and I just couldn't put into words how I was feeling...so I let another blogger do it for me.  I grabbed the iPad and pulled this post up, and asked him to read it.  {Be warned, you will very likely need tissues....here I am reading it for probably the fourteenth time and I'm a puddle of tears once again.}

http://sarahbessey.com/learning-live-ache/

Here are a few of the parts that really touched me when I first read that post...

'I was unprepared for how completely transformative I found motherhood, how I loved even the mundane dailyness, how I found joy here.'

'It’s likely that I won’t ever be pregnant again, that I won’t carry a baby within me again, that I won’t ever give birth again. (Yes, I’m one of those awful women who loves pregnancy and giving birth.) When I think about not breastfeeding – one of the most real things I’ve ever done with this body – ever again, I catch my breath with longing.'

The Ache, right underneath my lungs, in the pit of my gut, the ache of what that means and the grief of moving on, of love, of knowing: No more babies. No more nursing quietly in the night. No more flour sack of milk-drunk baby bliss. No more gummy smiles. No more tiny diapers. No more baby clothes. No more crib. No more baby wearing. No more new baby smell. No more of the millions of moments that knit your heart so completely to another small soul.

But the Ache changes and grows as we move through our years, I imagine, perhaps in proportion to the life we live, the love we gather and give.

Our lives are changing.  At first it was the big milestones.... Riley decided she no longer would sleep in the crib, so a big girl bed was bought.  Riley insisted on wearing panties, so potty training began {and took a LONG six months...}  But lately, it's the little things that have been on my mind.  She's drinking her milk out of a regular cup.  She and Gavin shared a bed in the hotel earlier this month, not needing to sleep next to me.  I am able to take advantage of my Mother's Day gift of lunch and a spa appointment, keeping in the front of my mind the memories of being gone for just a couple short hours and how she screamed and cried, needing me to nurse her.  And I realize these focus mostly on Riley, because she is the 'baby' in the family, but do I have to mention the fact that Gavin is about to graduate from kindergarten, no longer needs me to walk him in to school so he feels more comfortable, and is doing chores around the house like sorting laundry and emptying the dishwasher?  I mean, seriously...how did we get here so fast???

Don't get me wrong...they're both still so little, and needy.  I still stand next to Gavin's bed at night and rub his back for him at his request.  We still need to help him brush his teeth or we'll be paying to have cavities filled left and right.  I still had to unbuckle my seatbelt and climb into the back seventeen times on the three hour drive to Kansas City because Riley had sneezed all over herself, was spilling her water bottle, or had dropped the book she was reading down the side of her car seat.  You know when she's not feeling well because she is constantly asking to be held and rocked.  {And I will rock her any time she asks!}

Any time I catch myself saying something about how I can't believe we don't have any babies in the house anymore, Jarrod always chimes in that we could always have another.  But that opens up a whole new can of worms.  Having an odd number where one child will always be 'left out' bothers me, a lot.  So, we'd need to have two more kids to balance that out....Jarrod says no way.  Of course, we have to factor in that kids are expensive, and we don't want to give up me staying home with the kids, so money always goes through my mind.  I think about things that we're able to do now that Riley's getting bigger and think how different things would be if we added another baby to the mix.  And I love this stage that we're in.  I love that we can have family dates to the movies, we can think about planning trips {like to Disney!}, and we can think about actually having a date night every now and then {not that we have...but it is a possibility!  High maintenance Riley didn't make that a possibility for a couple years.}

I think about our little family, and it feels perfect.  It feels complete and wonderful.  But there's still something inside me that has a hard time selling that swing and pack 'n play that is still in the attic!  Reading this blog post about 'the ache' made me realize that these tears I cry when I think about not having another baby aren't necessarily because I want another baby, they're just because that chapter of my life is closing, and it was such an amazing chapter.  I always wanted to be a mom, but I never ever realized how much it would effect me.  I never knew how seeing the world through your own child's eyes would change the way you view everything.  I never wanted to breastfeed, and I spent 28 months nursing a baby.  I grew up knowing in my heart I wanted a teaching career, and I walked away from that career for my babies with no regrets.  Motherhood changed my life dramatically, and I'm so thankful for that.

I've learned to never say never.  I'm sure my parents said they'd never have more kids after Megan, and 12 years later that changed.  I said I'd never move away from Ohio.  We all know how that turned out.  So I won't say we'll never have another baby.  But I'm pretty confident that the Pate family will always be a perfect family of four....and I'm so looking forward to all the memories we'll make as we go through new stages of life together, even if I am still living with the ache.