From a Happy Heart to a Heavy Heart

Gavin loves to play in the bath and in the pool.  Gavin HATES to get his face and head wet.  He hates getting his hair washed and he completely freaks out if he gets splashed in the face.  We took swimming lessons when he was a baby, but once he got old enough that he had to do them without us, we didn't sign him up because I really think that being in the group setting and being forced to do things would have totally turned him against swimming.  So we took a break last year, and then contact Jo about doing semi-private lessons this summer.  Yesterday was our first lesson. 

It started out great.  Gavin's in a lesson with one other little girl who happens to love the water.  She had no fear at all and couldn't wait for her turn.  Luckily, Jo started each new technique with Gavin....because if he had seen the little girl go under I don't think he would have done any of the things she asked.  I was so proud of him when she asked him to blow bubbles and helped him under water.  I know I was smiling ear to ear on the side of the pool.  

I really couldn't believe how little he was fussing after coming back up from the water.  Serious proud mama moment right there!  Then came the low...  After a few times, he'd just had enough and after coming up once, he was coughing and spitting like he usually does if he gets his face wet and started crying to Miss Jo, asking her to not let him go under again. 

I was so glad that I was wearing my dark sunglasses because it brought tears to my eyes.  It made me think about that first day of preschool, when I picked him up to find him in tears after he had been pushed down on the playground and had an accident.  I'll never forget him telling me in between sobs in the car that he wanted me when he was sad.  That's all I kept thinking about when he was in the pool crying.  I wanted to protect him and help him, but I knew that him being in the water with her was the best choice.  It seems so silly...for me to be sitting there crying during a swim lesson, but I couldn't help it.  I hate seeing him scared and upset.  

Miss Jo was great and didn't let him go under anymore.  She praised him, as did I in the car and everyone at home when we got back.  This morning we went to the pool and I did all I could to encourage him to get in the big pool with me, which he did, but getting his face wet wasn't happening.  I'm really curious to see how far he comes in the five weeks of swim lessons.  I hope we have more proud moments at the lessons than moments that leave me fighting back tears.